It’s Mother’s Day again; time for all the accolades and loving feelings to warm our hearts because of the love our mother imbedded into our souls. We celebrate our mother because of the undying love she gave to us. When we were hungry, she gave of herself to fill our tummy. When we were tired, she nestled us next to her heart where we could remember the journey we traveled to arrive here. Everything turned out because she took care of herself and then she took care of us.
Every year more of us lose our mothers and must face our first Mother’s Day without the luxury of a hug or a smile from her. We even mistakenly think that remembering her causes pain. I would suggest that it’s not the memory that hurts because mothers live forever.
Mom always said. Who doesn’t remember those quick little truisms that she rattled off her tongue when we thought we had a problem? From “I’ll give you something to cry about,” to “Let me kiss it and make it better,” mom always had a word for our situation. Those words live well beyond her time with us. We even pass them on to our children who find similar situations where her words live in their children’s lives. Like I said, forever.
Mom always did. We still use her decorating and cooking and cleaning habits whether they work or not. Like cutting off the end of the ham because her mother didn’t have a pan big enough, sometimes we repeat her actions as if they are gospel. It is comforting to do it the way we saw it done for our entire lives. If it doesn’t work, it should work because that’s the way Mom did it.
Mom always loves. Even when we do stupid things or dangerous things or even illegal things, mom always thinks of us as her little baby. I realize that sometimes she would like to twist our little heads back on straight, but the love flows even through her frustration and anger. Her ability to see through our mistakes and find the person who spent 9 months inside her continues to baffle me. That reassurance lives beyond her presence.
Mom always believed. I was fortunate enough to have a mom who took me to church and sat me down next to her while she sang and prayed and listened to the most important words ever spoken. Her soprano voice still rings in my ears. Her faith in the Lord who promised, “I will be with you always,” surely inspired the things she said and did. She believed those words. Her presence is equally powerful through her words, actions and the undying love she always expressed.
I listened to a TED talk this week by Nora McInerny who chronicled the most hated words ever heard by her Hot Young Widows club. People would callously say, “Move on.” As Nora said, don’t let anyone tell you that you must move on from grief; move forward with those who loved you so dearly because they will always be present. Feel free to speak of them fondly in the present tense.
If mom is still present with you, honor her today and cherish the moments you have. If her physical presence is missing, cherish the gifts she gave you and move forward with her. She will be with you always.