I spent a little time with my grandson last week at his request and found myself wondering if I would have made time for him if he hadn’t asked. Let’s just say it’s a good thing he asked.
He’s working on his second-class rank in Scouting which requires him to save money for something and buy it. He asked if he could help around our house and I was glad to receive the help. He helps whether there is money involved or not but he usually asks when he’s saving up for something. Smart boy.
After he redesigned my steps coming from the front yard to the deck that I made too tall, he gathered the trimmings of my crape myrtles. We moved our Christmas things from storage to my new attic in the shop and he picked the garden. I made quesadillas and we enjoyed lunch together, talking about his plans and next year at school. It was a great day.
But the day wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t asked.
I’m supposed to be the proactive, involved grandparent here. Why is my grandson having to initiate time to be with his papaw?
I also spent some time with both of my parents at their request this week. Dad had an x-ray that turned out to be a three-hour CT scan and mom had an appointment at the doctor that also turned into 3 hours. During the drive and wait, we had time to visit and catch up on life and family matters. Neither visit would have happened if they hadn’t asked.
I hope you are getting the picture here. Not the one about my lack of skills; the one about whether you should be proactive and involved and initiate your own contact with the ones you love. You’ll want to do the asking because they might not think they need you. Make sure to put your phone down long enough when you are together to actually interact with them. Talk about life and health and dreams and your shared experiences. Reminisce with them a little and laugh about days gone by.
The point is we have to make time to share with those we love. One day, they will be grown and gone. They’ll be making memories of their own with their own family or friends. If you want them to have some good stories to tell about your relationship, you’ll have to make the time, invest the time and interact with them to seal your love into their hearts.